There are technical skills in photography; a photo needs to be properly exposed, photos have to be in focus, and so on. Then, there are social skills. I’m speaking from a wedding photographer’s perspective. My goal as I am taking portraits is to authentically capture that person in one timeless image. If you are taking portraits, never forget that your subject is a human being. If you take photos of a dog, the dog has no concept of what you are doing. A person has thoughts and feelings. You have an amazing opportunity as a photographer to create positive thoughts and feelings and direct this person into genuinely presenting their best self.
To teach you some tricks, I’m going to walk you through my thoughts in the order they would arise during a shoot.
THE BEGINNING
Every portrait session has the potential to be the most awkward experience you will ever have. The start of any photoshoot, where the subjects aren’t paid models, is generally the most awkward.
Let’s break it down objectively. If this is an engagement session, you arrive at the chosen area.
(Helpful hint- Show up 15-30 min early and take photos of random stuff. Get yourself warmed up like you would for an athletic event or a speaking engagement.)
You are about to be joined by two people that you have possibly never met. They are going to be really nervous.
On one hand, they just made a gigantic life decision that will affect the rest of their lives. On the other, they are driving out to a quiet place to meet a stranger with a camera. That’s a weird thing to do. There are a lot of thoughts in their head. The last time they had pictures taken may have been in school. If that’s the case, they will grin and face you like they’re the painting “American Gothic”. That’s not what either of you want.
SELF-PRESENTATION THEORY
There’s a theory in group behavior called the self-presentation theory. It says a person will change their behavior if under examination to convey information that the person wants you to know. This is super important to keep in mind. Psychologically, your subjects perceive you, the photographer, as the examiner. They are trying to present you with what they think you want to see. Some people clam up in front of the camera. Some even-keeled people act ridiculous to try to show their “fun side”. How do you work past this?
Give them space.
Oh, and lie to them.
Yeah, I said it. Once you get your subjects where you want them, tell them you are testing your light or adjusting some settings and have them just “hang out for a minute.” (But you don’t need to test your light because you showed up early and already know exactly what settings you need.)
Take 50 steps back. The start of a session is not the time for close ups. Let them mingle. They may laugh about how weird this is or how crazy it is that they are engaged. Capture those moments. They will drop that self-presentation and show you how they really interact with each other.
DIRECT. DON’T POSE.
After giving people some space to get comfortable, you will inevitably hear the familiar refrain- “I don’t know what to do with my hands.”
Always provide some coaching to keep them confident but I almost never pose my clients outside of family photos. They then get the mentality that “if I move, I will ruin the photo” and that could not be farther from the truth. Instead, pose a challenge or activity.
My favorite line for guys in winter-time shoots or for shoots in the north is “Keep her warm.” The subject may not be able to know what you want if you say “Get close, hand here, other hand there, head up but chin down…” That always felt goofy to me. If you tell any guy to keep her warm, they immediately know what to do and that may translate in ways you never expect. Some may rub their hands on her shoulders. Others may stand behind and wrap their arms around her. That subtle shift in dialogue can drastically improve the quality in modeling you get from your clients. That tiniest bit of mental effort you just coached out of your client just kept him in a positive attitude with a willingness to be a part of the session going forward.
Challenges like this keep the session moving in a great way. Another great exercise, is to have them walk towards you and shoot them walking. They will do that pretty easily. I usually make the joke that they walk like professionals. Then tell them to walk backwards without looking away from each other. The proposed challenge keeps them lighthearted, focused, and working together.
FEEDBACK
Give your clients good feedback. Humans have self-esteem issues. If your clients think what they are doing is embarrassing or that they don’ t look good, you will lose that window of vulnerability that you worked so hard to earn. Consistently shower them in praise. This was by far the hardest thing I had to learn. As you are taking photos, let them know how good they look. If they do something that looks good, confirm it immediately. It’s a hard practice to vocalize praise while you are focused on your own creation but it’s so necessary.
This does not mean that you take photos in a weird spot or awkward position for half the shoot waiting on something to work. If something doesn’t work, let them know and immediately put it on yourself. Laugh it off and move on. Do it with confidence and you won’t lose any credibility. In fact, you may gain more trust because they know you have their best interest in mind.
SHOOT THROUGH THE MOMENTS
During any shoot, there is a considerable amount of transition time, especially during a wedding. I’ve seen so many photographers stop shooting after the moment passes and physically and mentally move on. If your subjects are on the move, pick a side and take photos. You have to follow them anyway. You might as well use that time to add to the collection. This all goes back to the idea that you want your subjects bringing out their truest self. While they are moving between emotionally exhausting events, the bride may whisper in the groom’s ear or they may laugh at a joke their dad said. Shooting through the moments is an incredible way to raise the quality level of the product you are providing.
LAST BITS OF ADVICE
Last year one of my best friends asked me if I would rather be a groomsman for his wedding or shoot it. I opted to shoot his wedding. He was a little confused as to why I would rather work instead of party. The answer was that I felt a closer bond to him through photographing that day than any other position I could have been in.
What you are looking to do is an incredible undertaking. As a wedding, engagement or family photographer, you are being entered into some of the most meaningful and intimate moments of someone’s life. This is not said to frighten or deter you; quite the opposite rather. How you navigate those moments and direct your clients through them will impact your business for years and be one of the most rewarding endeavors you ever have.